I thought I would update on this cycle of our fertility treatment. We found out on February 12 that we were finally pregnant. Yay we had three blood test and three home tests to prove it. My beta numbers were climbing as they were supposed to and life was great. I felt like a weight had been lifted and we were done with fertility treatments. This news was even more rewarding because I had responded really well to the medication we used this time but that led to ohss. My ovaries had been overstimulated. I got really sick and gained 20lbs from fluid. This was not enjoyable but it was worth it when we found out we were pregnant. This excitment was short lived as we found out our baby would not make it at our ultrasound before going to our ob. Our doctor told us we would miscarry. He said the good news was we got pregnant and now they know what medications work for us. I thought it was over then we got a call from a nurse who said my hcg was really high they wanted to do another ultrasound in a couple of days. This news gave us hope but that ultrasound did not give us better news. Although the pregnancy would not survive my body was trying to hang on to it. I chose a treatment called methotrexate. It is supposed to move things along. I am still waiting to miscarry but hopefully it will happen soon and we can start look forward to trying again. This news was really hard and I experienced frustration, sadness, and anger. I really felt like we had been through enough and the rollercoaster of emotions was not fun. Jon has been strong and has supported me so much!
I really prayed that God would show me what good there was in this situation. I did not want to be bitter and angry anymore. While praying about this I realized there is always good in every situation. I thought of Jon and Mary Grace. I thought of the unconditional love they have shown me. Even Mary Grace at the tender age of eight knew that I was sad and has been so sweet and loving. Jon and I have grown closer through this experience. I thought that is a good thing. We already had a great relaitonship but I have seen a side of him that I have never seen before. He has been patient, strong, reliable, supportive, loving, and he just really allowed me to fall apart.
I am so grateful that he is willing to go on this journey with me. I will updated again soon.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
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